Have you ever been in a bad relationship? If so, it is likely that you heard from those around you who love you, “I think it’s time to break up.” Shame is like a bad relationship—one of those toxic ones that you try to kick to the curb, but somehow it keeps bouncing back.

Because even though you may break up with shame, shame doesn’t usually break up with you.

Whether it is something you’ve done that you regret or something that is completely out of your control, shame always tries to come crawling back. One of the most powerful ways to fight shame is with confession.

To kill shame is to confess shame.

When we bring what is dark into the light, it becomes light. The enemy wants to keep you bound by shame and hold you captive in your regrets, insecurities, and fears. But God wants to set you free and give you light and life again. He promises that when we confess to Him with a repentant heart, He forgives us. And when we confess to others, we experience healing.

Shame is not who you are.

You are not your mistakes—no matter how large or small. You are not damaged goods. You are not too far gone. Your past does not define you. In Christ, we are new creations.

You don’t have to be defined by your broken yesterdays.

Your past can stay your past. You can walk into your beautiful tomorrows with Jesus in the light. So, if you have regrets about your past or are currently carrying shame, my prayer for you is Romans 8:1, where the Word of God reminds us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Jesus Christ.” In Christ, we are washed white as snow.

Have I done things I deeply regret? Yes! Have I been extremely hurt by others? Yes! Have I had moments of feeling ashamed of who I am? Yes.

But as I’ve allowed the Lord to redefine me, I’ve realized that I am loved, freed, and redeemed. He uses the mess of my yesterdays for the message of His goodness for today and tomorrow.

If you feel defined by your sin and past mistakes, you’re not alone. Usually, the enemy’s accusations have less to do with who you have been and more to do with who you could be. That idea terrifies him. So, when he starts reminding you of your past, you start reminding him of his future—because yours is eternal light and life, and his is eternal darkness and torment.

And the best news of all time? Jesus defeated shame. He hung on the Cross, stripped naked, and took on our sin and shame. He became a public display of shame on our behalf, and He died the worst death possible.

He did all this so we could get back to our original state in Genesis 2: naked and unashamed, right with God, loved and accepted and joyful.

His love rescues us from the grip of sin and shame. He came to deliver us from things we thought we’d never be free from. He comes to cleanse us from our dirty mess and give us a new and everlasting hope. Those things that used to bring pain can bring joy and can be used for a purpose.

It’s not about what you have done; it’s about what Jesus chose to do for you. We can walk in hope and freedom not because we’re strong or have such willpower or virtue. It’s not by our efforts, but by the finished work of Jesus Christ. He died and rose again in three days, defeating Satan, sin, and shame.

Here’s a truth that I want you to hear: Shame can stop us from drawing near to God, but it does not stop God from drawing near to us.

Picking back up in Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve sinned against God, they hid from Him. While they were hiding, God began searching for them. God is not ashamed of you and what you’ve done. He doesn’t abandon you after you have sinned and fallen short.

He doesn’t want to see you stuck in sin or hiding in shame. He wants to see you free and thriving! And He knows the only way that happens is if you come out of hiding and run to Him. He loves you and He searches for you, not to judge you and hurt you, but to heal you and free you!

God deals with our shame by shining the spotlight. Because when shame is brought into the light, it loses its power. His first question when Adam and Eve hid from Him was, “Where are you?” God already knew, but He was lovingly getting Adam to acknowledge his position. God wanted Adam to confess, not to humiliate him but to heal him.

For me, breaking free from shame meant confessing both my sins and my most embarrassing struggles out loud. I had to name things I never wanted to say—like the shame I carried over bed-wetting, or the deeper shame of watching pornography.

The lies I had internalized didn’t disappear overnight, and the temptation to sin didn’t go away immediately. But as I continued to rely on the Holy Spirit and walk in the light with community and accountability, it became easier to resist and to pursue holiness with all my heart.

Where shame ends, grace begins.

Shame tells us our death sentence is being stuck in sin and never being enough. Grace meets us at the door of our insecurities and pain and invites us to be free. Grace agrees that we are weak and sinful, but it leads us to the Truth. And the Truth sets us free.

It’s time to break up with shame, because God has broken shame for you.

Adapted from Dare to Be True by Madison Prewett Troutt. Copyright © 2025 by Madison Prewett Troutt. Published by WaterBrook, an imprint of Penguin Random House Christian Publishing Group, LLC. Used by permission.

For deeper reflection, listen to Romans 8 today

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