Category: Grief

on • Ashley Morgan Jackson

I picked up my phone off the nightstand that morning and opened it with dread. I felt anxiety fill my body. On social media, I knew what I would find: other people enjoying their lives while I cried about mine.

Life felt so unfair. Hot tears filled my eyes, and I immediately tried to blink them back while I whispered a desperate prayer, “Lord, am I going to feel like this forever?”

As I poured my coffee, I made a mental list of what I felt like I could no longer handle.

For starters, I battled relentlessly with my mental health. And I also juggled two kids under five, my husband’s unforeseen job loss, the sudden passing of my father-in-law, and ongoing financial pressures, just to name a few.

I saw no relief in sight. It was hard not to feel frustrated, fed-up, and maybe even a little forgotten by God.

My soul was exhausted, and I was tired of trying. It seemed I had prayed every prayer I knew how to pray and read every Scripture I knew that pertained to my circumstances. Yet, nothing seemed to change.

Maybe you know this season all too well. Maybe you’ve been hurting so deeply and for so long. Maybe you expected to handle this better and to be stronger when everything came crashing down.

But it’s okay that you’re feeling weak and unsure. God wants us to let go of trying to figure it all out, and let him do what he does best—save us.

When God commanded Moses to save his people from their slavery in Egypt, they never expected their journey to freedom to take so long or be so very hard.

But God had not taken them to the wilderness to simply punish them. Instead, he brought them there to both teach them dependence on him and bring them to the good land he had prepared for them.

In Jeremiah 31:2-3, we see the Lord say in reference to that time, “‘This is what the Lord says: ‘Those who survive the coming destruction will find blessings even in the barren land, for I will give rest to the people of Israel…I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love, I have drawn you to myself.'”

God hears your cries for deliverance, and he has grace for you in your wilderness.

I continued to walk through my own wilderness. I realized God was using those things I thought were breaking me to make me more like Jesus.

I felt exhausted because I believed it was all up to me.

When I chose to trust him to hold my broken heart and receive his grace, he began to reveal the good plans he had all along.

Friend, will you dare to remember the heart of God when it is hard to understand why he is not fixing your most hurtful seasons?

Will you trust that, like the Israelites, you, too will find grace in our wilderness? Will you cling to the truth that he has rest for your worn-out souls and that he will never stop loving you?

Regardless of how you feel, you can stand in confidence that God will continue to be faithful.

Dear Lord, Thank you that you hear my prayers when my life feels like it is too much, and I am desperate for solutions. I pray you would help me to hold onto you in faith. Cause me to stand on the truth of who I know you to be; a good, faithful and loving Father. Thank you that you always have my best in mind. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

*For further reflection, listen to Jeremiah 31 today.

  1. Jeremiah 39

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Enjoy further insights with Ashley Morgan Jackson in our interview with her here.

on • Amy Boucher Pye

As a hospice nurse, my sister Beth cares for people at the end of their lives, ministering God’s grace as she tends to their bodily needs, shows care and empathy, and manages their pain.

In contrast, I couldn’t enter the nursing profession—for one thing, I don’t have Beth’s patience. Nor would Beth want to speak to groups of people about God’s love, like I enjoy doing.

We may be different, but we love each other. My sister is also my friend.

Probably the best-known sisters in the Bible also exemplify a loving friendship—Martha and Mary. Today they’ve been turned into types: “Are you a Martha or a Mary?” (Luke 10.) 

But as we read their three gospel accounts (also John 11 and 12), we understand that they are fully orbed characters—women who love and grieve and question and serve.

They support each other, and their friendship with Jesus transforms them. For instance, consider how Martha lovingly calls Mary to their friend Jesus after their brother dies, and how Jesus responds.

As background, Jesus delayed coming to the sisters after they sent word that their brother was sick. We know now that he did so to bring glory to God, demonstrating that he is the resurrection and the life by raising Lazarus from the dead (John 11:43). But the sisters, as they wait for Jesus, feel betrayed and unseen by the One who loves them.

Forthright Martha, when she hears that Jesus has arrived outside the village, rushes to meet him. Through conversation he calls her out of her grief, affirming her statement of faith that he is the Messiah.

Martha then returns home to her grieving sister, who seems to have lost all hope. Drawing Mary aside from the other mourners, she gently shares that Jesus asks after her.

She’s deeply concerned for her, longing for her younger sister to enjoy the love that she’s received from Jesus.

Mary goes to him at once, throwing herself at his feet as she releases her deep sorrow over the death of her brother. And Jesus shares her grief in the shortest sentence in the Bible: “Jesus weeps” (John 11:35).

He then moves to the grave, where he raises Lazarus from the dead—an extreme act of love and restoration. In doing so, he fuels the anger of the religious leaders, who want him eliminated.

Jesus loves both the sisters and ministers to them differently in their grief. Just as he loves each of us individually, caring for us in the ways we need most.

I hope you can believe that Jesus will meet you where you are today, whatever your needs. Know that you can come to him with your most heart-wrenching statements, as the sisters did: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21).

You can dialog with him as Martha did (John 11:21–27). You can shower him with love like Mary did when she anointed him with pure nard (John 12:3).

In all the moments of your day, Jesus wants to be your friend.

As you consider your friendship with God, you might also want to ponder any sibling relationships you have. How could you pray for your sister or brother—or a beloved cousin or friend?

Jesus, as he pours out his love on you, might also want to love someone through you today. Know that he delights in you and will never leave you.

He will be your best friend.

*For further reflection, listen to John 11.

  1. John 11

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Adapted from Transforming Love: How Friendship with Jesus Changes Us (Our Daily Bread Publishing, 2023).

on • Natasha Smith

God understands what it means to feel alone. Mark writes this about Jesus, “Then everyone deserted him and fled” (Mark 14:48–50).

It’s kind of hard to believe this verse. At first, I read it and wondered, Is Mark talking about Jesus?

The one who died for us—that Jesus?

But yes, it was Jesus who was grieving. He knew that he was about to go to the Cross.

And yet everyone deserted him.

Jesus experienced one of the deepest grief moments of his human life, and those closest to him deserted him. They abandoned him, left him, let him down, and didn’t come through.

Abandonment and desertion can crush the spirit and be traumatic experiences themselves. But this happened to Jesus; everyone deserted him.

My mom used to say, “If it happened to Jesus, we are no better than him. So it could happen to us.”

True, but thanks be to God, Jesus has already walked in all our shoes to truly understand what we feel, sense, and struggle through.

And the best part is that he knows how to help us, heal us, comfort us, and give us peace.

Further, in understanding how God understands our grief, the prophet Isaiah prophesied this of Jesus, “He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3).

God, in the bodily form of Jesus, bore our sorrow, our grief, and our pain on the Cross. Not that we wouldn’t experience them, but instead he would know how to comfort us. Knowing someone knows what you are going through provides a sense of comfort all by itself.

It comforts us when we meet someone with a similar shared experience. It excites us even. I become super excited when I find out someone is creative or loves art because I am a low-key art fan. I have been since I was single digits.

And it is the same with our grief. Think about it, how relieved would you become if you met someone who had experienced—even remotely—what you have or even slightly understood your grief? Wouldn’t it make you feel less alone?

I know it would make me feel better. Well, guess what? God knows fully what you are experiencing or have experienced in the past, and he understands.

In his humanity, Jesus even wept.

Lazarus, a dear friend of Jesus’s, was sick. Jesus heard this news, and instead of going to see him, he remained where he was for a few more days. And Lazarus died.

Before leaving for Bethany, Jesus was already aware of the fact that Lazarus had died. He told his disciples that Lazarus was instead sleeping, but he would go to wake him. When Jesus arrived, Martha confronted him, saying that if he had been there, her brother would not have died.

As described by John, Jesus was “deeply troubled” (John 11:33). Then the story goes on to say, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).

Jesus seems to embody the words of Paul, who wrote, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). Jesus saw their grief, and he had compassion for them. He grieved with them.

In fact, when Jesus heard about the death of John the Baptist, he also grieved. John was Jesus’s cousin. We first hear of this relationship when Jesus’s mother, Mary, went to see her cousin Elizabeth. They were both pregnant. There was already a kindred connection between Jesus and John while they were still in their mothers’ wombs.

Then this same John later prepares the way for Jesus. In the end, John becomes a martyr in the name of Jesus.

So, when Jesus hears about the death of John the Baptist, Matthew wrote, he “left in a boat to a remote area to be alone” (Matthew 14:13).

Jesus took time to grieve and honor John the Baptist.

I think as believers, we often forget this. Maybe we think about how strong and powerful God is; we think about how nothing moves God or hurts God.

I believe we forget how God became flesh and felt every single thing that happened to him. When people hear of your loss and immediately say, “I can’t imagine.” know that Jesus can imagine and knows your pain.

In the same way that people would become much more thoughtful and compassionate by trying to put themselves where you are, if we were to put ourselves in Jesus’ shoes (I know, big shoes to fill), we would have such a better perspective.

A better view. A lens of what it may have felt like while Jesus was praying in the garden. We would have a better understanding of the loving way Jesus understands us. Just as Jesus grieved, he understands that all people grieve, and he understands your grief. As he felt alone, he understands how you feel alone. He knew and he knows.

He knew one day you and I would grieve, and so God made a way for us to come to him for comfort and to obtain peace, simply through the name of Jesus.

So, no matter where you find yourself right now in your grief journey, God is asking, “Can you just sit with me?”

For further reflection, listen to Mark 14.

  1. Mark 14

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*Adapted from Can You Just Sit with Me? by Natasha Smith. ©2023 by Natasha Smith. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press. www.ivpress.com.

on • Judy Douglass

My husband, Steve, had been a daily source of joy for me for more than 50 years.

Daily, he made me coffee, shared that he loved me, praised my cooking, told me I was beautiful, assured me that I could do anything God gave me to do, and always believed in me.

Such a source of joy!

Six months ago, Steve left me. It was not his choice, but God’s. Complications from a cancer treatment ended his earthly life, but he joyfully moved to his new heavenly life.

I miss him terribly, but how can I not rejoice that he is with Jesus and free from the growing troubles his body was facing?

Did I say rejoice? Indeed. As great a loss as this has been for me, my children, and grandchildren, and as often as tears come, I can still rejoice.

And that’s one reason why I believe God can give us joy—abundant joy—even as we navigate the hard journey of loving a prodigal and other difficult challenges.

What gives you joy? For most of us, joy and happiness are synonyms.

The things that make us happy often provide joy in our lives.

What often brings us joy are the loving relationships we have: family, a spouse, children, grandchildren, neighbors, church friends, co-workers. The people in our lives can be the happiest parts of our lives.

Other sources of happiness might be a sense of purpose, meaningful work, a nice home, good health, fun and refreshing activities.

And even when your team wins the championship.

But then there are realities that seem to steal our joy away: loss of a job, financial challenges, a scary diagnosis, betrayal by friends, and interpersonal conflicts.

And—the pain and challenge of a prodigal, of a loved one making destructive life choices or causing chaos for the family or rejecting a relationship with you.

Our God tells us we can have joy in all those bad events I just mentioned, even when my husband dies or your loved one breaks your heart.

Consider it Joy

My theme verse is James 1:2, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds…”

James calls us to make a choice—to consider, that is, to acknowledge, recognize, and regard the trials of our lives as pure joy.

Seriously? Pure joy? Not just grudging joy?

So James goes on to remind us of gifts we receive from those trials: “…because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:3-4).

Most likely, perseverance hasn’t been on your list of desired gifts. Though, we must admit, it helps us get through hard times. I think perseverance has been one of my most important gifts.

Just look at the result of growing in perseverance: to be mature and complete, lacking nothing! We have all we need.

Ask the Questions

Yet, even as God calls us to perseverance—and joy on a hard journey—he also invites us to be honest with him, to express our fears and feelings, to ask challenging questions, to lament.

What is lament? A lament is a prayer expressing sorrow, pain, or confusion. Lament could be the chief way Christians process grief in God’s presence.

Almost a third of the Psalms and the entire book of Lamentations are concerned with lament.

Like he does every other emotion, God wants to hear about our pain. God wants us to lament.

Listen to these words from Psalm 42:

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

My tears have been my food day and night,

while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him my Savior and my God.”

As you can see, God welcomes our praise, but also our pain. He receives our gratitude, and also our questions.

Sometimes God Answers Questions

After Steve’s death, I had a lot of questions. Answers included scriptural promises and reminders, and also “trust Me” and “wait” and “persevere.”

But God was also kind to give me almost audible answers to some of my questions. These two have been the most important and helpful:

“How will I live without him?”

God’s response, repeatedly: “I will be with you.”

“Why did he have to leave now?”

This response has been an ongoing source of joy for me: “I wanted to be kind to him.”

How can I argue with that?

God calls us to consider it pure joy when the journey is hard, and as we do, we will find valuable life-giving gifts. But he also invites us to tell him how hard it is, how much it hurts, how confused we are, and to ask our deep and honest questions.

And in the process, he will give us joy!

*For further reflection today, listen to James 1 and Psalm 42.

  1. James 1
  2. Psalm 42

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~This is the first of four devotional studies on “Joy in the Hard Journey.”

***Please enjoy a meaningful and insighfut interview with Judy Douglass here!***

on • Vaneetha Risner

When we ask, “What if the worst happens?” we can trust God.

He has already been to tomorrow and knows exactly what we need.

It doesn’t mean that the worst won’t happen because, honestly, our worst fears could materialize.

No one is free from tragedy or pain, but no matter what happens, God will be there. He will be with you, and he will never leave you.

So, what if the worst happens? In Daniel 3, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were about to be thrown into the fire, because they would not worship Nebuchadnezzar’s gods or worship the golden statue he had erected.

Those three young men faced the fire without fear, trusting that God would be with them.

They said, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us…But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods.” (Daniel 3:17-18)

They were satisfied knowing that even if the worst happened, God would take care of them.

Replacing “what if” with “even if” is one of the most liberating exchanges we can ever make.

We trade our irrational fears of an uncertain future for the loving assurance of an unchanging God.

We see that even if the worst happens, God will carry us.

He will still be good.

He will never leave us.

And He will supply all our needs.

Adapted from the Bible study, Desperate for Hope: Questions We Ask God in Suffering Loss and Longing.

*For deeper reflection, listen to Daniel 3.

  1. Daniel 3

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To enjoy our her.BIBLE interview with Vaneetha, click here!

on • Cassandra Speer

Have you ever been in an overwhelming situation and in need of rescue? Not to be dramatic, but that was totally me recently.

I had just returned to Oklahoma City after an exciting work trip in Nashville, Tennessee, to celebrate our first book launch! It was an incredible trip, jam-packed with radio, TV, and podcast interviews. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and excitement, but when I arrived home, a different type of overwhelm began to settle in.

Here’s where I need to tell you something: I battle mild anxiety. And under extreme circumstances, I even suffer from debilitating panic attacks. On even ordinary days, life can feel like a lot.

I’m a mother of three who works from home, and our closest family lives six hours away. But on this particular day, my rowdy little humans were home for summer break. I had overlapping projects, multiple deadlines, tons of meetings, and the mission of motherhood all demanding my attention at the same time.

The word overwhelmed doesn’t begin to capture how I felt.

Feeling the tension of my limitations, I reached out for help.

But the people I usually look to were unavailable, and I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone or let anyone down. I was stretched thin and growing weary.

I needed help, but I felt like I was out of options. And then I felt it starting. My heart began pounding so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest.

Before I knew it, I was gasping for air, and my entire body felt like it was on fire. I slowly walked into the living room, where my husband was relaxing. He glanced up at me with immediate concern and asked what was wrong, but I couldn’t get the words out as tears streamed down my face.

“Take a deep breath in through your nose, and slowly let it out from your mouth,” he said calmly. As I inhaled, I placed my hand on my belly, and as I exhaled, I placed my other hand on my chest.

I continued to do this until my panic subsided, and I was able to share my concerns with my husband. We talked through a plan to ease the stress I was dealing with. I also sent a text to my closest friends, letting them know what I was going through, and they lovingly rallied around me with prayer.

I wish I could tell you that my anxiety instantly disappeared and my plate became easier to manage, but that simply wasn’t true.

Life often hands us more than we can handle.

The good news is that we don’t have to tackle the troubles of this life on our own. God places people in our lives to come alongside us, and bear our burdens with us. Dear friend, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s proof of wisdom. Allow the people in your life to meet you in your time of need.

So if you’re in need of some help, cry out to Him today. He is with you and for you, and He’ll provide you what—and who—you need in your overwhelming moments.

For further reflection, listen to Psalm 46.

  1. Psalm 46

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Excerpted from There’s Beauty in Your Brokenness: 90 Devotions to Surrender Striving, Live Unburdened, and Find Your Worth in Christ by Brittany Maher and Cassandra Speer. Copyright © 2023 Brittany Maher and Cassandra Speer. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson.harpercollinschristian.com.

Please enjoy our conversation with Cassandra here.

on • Vaneetha Risner

I long for companionship when I am in pain.

I want someone to talk to me, weep with me, and sit with me. I want someone to put human flesh on God’s comfort. I need community.

This need always felt vaguely unspiritual. Until I saw that in Jesus’ darkest moments, he desired His friends’ presence.

Mark 14:32-34 says, “They went to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, “Sit here while I go and pray.” He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Clearly, this longing did not reflect a lack of trust in God or a fragile faith. It was simply human. God incarnate longed for human fellowship because God created us to live in community.

 

Sitting with our friends in their pain is a treasured gift. They rarely are looking for answers to their most profound questions or solutions to their pressing problems. Instead, they just want our presence.

Yet often it’s easier to tell stories, offer advice, recite a Bible verse, or even deliver a mini-sermon on optimism. We want them to feel instant relief, so we try to force their healing, fix their problems, or alleviate their doubts.

I’ll never forget a friend who stopped by after my son Paul died. She sat in the kitchen without making much conversation. Instead, she listened when I spoke about my pain. Since I didn’t want to be alone, her silent presence comforted me as I processed my grief.

So if your friend is suffering, try visiting them with no agenda but to be with them. Pray silently as you sit.

Trust that God is working and may bring about more healing and comfort as you “stay and keep watch” than your words ever could.

*For deeper reflection, listen to Mark 14.

on • Dorina Gilmore-Young

My friends and I rolled out of bunk beds early and headed for the start of the Shadow of the Giants trail race. The air was brisk. “Three, two, one, go!” the race director bellowed, his voice echoing through the forest. And we were off.

My lungs burned as we headed uphill through the grove of Sequoia trees at 5,000-feet elevation.

Inhale. Lift. Exhale. Lift. Inhale. Lift.

I tried to find the rhythm of my breath and feet to make it up that first five miles of hills. I couldn’t help noticing the landscape.

The trail through the Nelder Grove—near Yosemite National Park—looked strikingly different from the year before when I ran the same race. Fallen trees and blackened trunks provided a striking stark contrast against the backdrop of the blue sky.

A wildfire earlier in the year blazed its way through this forest. The cause of the fire was unknown, but it threatened communities and historic buildings.

When a fire rages through dry underbrush, it clears thick growth so that nourishing sunlight can reach the forest floor. This encourages the growth of native species. Where forest fires destroy, new life springs up.

A resilient tree that survives the fire can even experience a growth spurt.

As I ran, I noticed evidence of new growth. Green grass and leaves sprouted. Wildflowers dotted the trail. As I rounded one corner, angled light beamed through the blackened tree trunks.

Beauty rose from the ashes.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted…To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” Isaiah 61:1-3

After my husband’s death, a fierce sense of hope has risen in my life. I still bear the scars of loss, but God uses these to open doors to encourage others.

Sometimes life is about breathing and lifting, moving forward one step at a time.

Our hearts are scarred, but we have found unexpected joy in the ashes.

*For deeper reflection, listen to Isaiah 61.

on • Judy Douglass

In the darkest years of my journey as a mom with our prodigal son, Isaiah was my closest friend.

As I searched God’s Word for help and hope, He repeatedly met me in the book of Isaiah, especially beginning in Chapter 40.

He comforted me and encouraged me with words such as these

And many more.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.

Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you.

I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (41:10)

He will feed his flock like a shepherd.

He will carry the lambs in his arms,

holding them close to his heart.

He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young. (40:11)

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.

O Israel, the one who formed you says,

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

I have called you by name; you are mine. (43:1)

For I am about to do something new.

See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

I will make a pathway through the wilderness.

I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. (43:19)

At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” (60:22b)

And many more.

As I listen to her.BIBLE, I love the beautiful voices of daughters of God while appreciating every book. I have eagerly anticipated the completion of the Book of Isaiah.

It is out now, and I am dwelling there with my Lord, listening to challenges, comforts, hopes, and promises.

Our prodigal is in a good place now. But that last verse, Isaiah 60:22b, has been faith and courage for me in every difficult time in life, ever since.

*For deeper reflection, listen to Isaiah 60.

on • Susan Goodwin

Have you ever poured out your heart before the Lord? “Downhearted, deep anguish, crying bitterly” are the emotions of the childless woman, Hannah, which opens the book of 1 Samuel. The writer declares, “God has closed her womb.” Elkanah, her loving husband, fails to understand her while his other wife mocks her.

Her emotions erupt during a pilgrimage to the house of the Lord. Can you feel the weight of her longing? It is palatable. Hannah’s faith is displayed as she takes her emptiness to God. Feeling overwhelmed, her lips move to pray, but her weary heart has no sound. She is assumed drunk. In raw honesty, Hannah sighs, “I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord.” God hears. God remembers. God gives Hannah a son. (1 Samuel 1:15b)

In a worshipful response, Hannah again bares her soul before the Lord. This time her words are recorded. (1 Samuel 2:2-10) Her prayer’s focus is not on the gift of her son, Samuel,  but upon the goodness of the Giver Himself. Affirming God’s unchanging nature, Hannah proclaims God’s future promise of redemption, for his people.  

She exclaims that God opposes the proud and exalts the humble. (2:3-4) God is at work in the world despite chaos and evil. (2:9) God will send a king. (2:10) Through Samuel, God transitions Israel to a monarchy. This monarchy is a shadow of an eternal kingdom. God promises King David, whom Samuel anointed, an everlasting throne. Through David’s line, a king will come to rule and reign with all the goodness of God himself.

Centuries later, another mother responds in worshipful prayer, echoing the words of Hannah. (Luke 1:46-55) God visits humble Mary, giving her a son. Through this Son, all of God’s promises to Israel are completely and finally fulfilled. He is the long-awaited King from the line of David to rule forever. What Hannah knew in part is now known in full. 

May our hearts worship with hers as we pour out our own longings before the Lord.

*For deeper reflection, listen to 1 Samuel 1.