Did you know that your brain releases dopamine every time you receive a like or follow on social media? These small affirmations trigger your body’s reward system, releasing a chemical that makes you feel good, known as the “dopamine loop.” This is why social media can become addictive.
But why are we so addicted to people-pleasing and seeking approval? Our hearts are wired for affirmation and love. Unfortunately, many of us carry pain from past rejection and end up seeking validation in the wrong places.
The solution isn’t to stop caring about others’ opinions but to care more about how God sees us.
Jesus didn’t disregard people; He just loved God more. We cannot set healthy boundaries if we’re constantly seeking approval. We can only live out our true calling when pleasing God matters more than gaining others’ approval.
Jesus modeled a life where God’s calling was prioritized over pleasing people. People knew that He wouldn’t twist His answers to make them happy. They even said to Him, “Teacher, we know how honest you are. You are impartial and don’t play favorites. You teach the way of God truthfully” (Mark 12:14).
Jesus spoke truth and made decisions based on God’s Word. Proverbs 29:25 reminds us, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” Pleasing others can pull you away from God’s calling and onto the path of people-pleasing.
When you care more about God’s calling, setting boundaries becomes natural. You guard what matters most, regardless of who disagrees.
Practical Boundaries to Protect Your Calling:
1) Know Who You Are and Recognize Your Unique Gifts
Understanding your identity in Christ helps you discern what aligns with your calling. Jesus knew His identity and purpose clearly. When you know your calling, it becomes easier to say no to things that don’t fit.
2) Clearly Define What and Whom God Has Called You To
Once you know yourself, stay focused on what matters. There are many good opportunities, but not all reflect God’s best for you. Prioritize what’s most important—your relationship with God, family, and the ministry He’s called you to.
4) Own Only What’s Yours
You are responsible for what God has asked you to steward. You’re not responsible for others’ emotions, expectations, or pressures. Consult God first and make decisions based on His calling, not others’ demands.
5) Get Comfortable Saying No and Not Now
Saying no isn’t anti-Christian; it’s acknowledging your limitations. Jesus set boundaries and prioritized time with His Father. He wasn’t driven by others’ expectations but by God’s plan for His life.
6) Don’t Get Distracted
When your heart is centered on God’s calling, setting boundaries becomes a tool for staying focused. Proverbs 4:25-27 encourages us, “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.”
Stay grounded in God’s purpose, and don’t let people-pleasing pull you away from His calling.
Adapted from: Soul Care. Copyright © 2024 Debra Fileta. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon 97408. www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Wanna hear more? Listen to our interview with Debra to find inspiration and hope in your new year!
For further reflection, listen to Proverbs 4 today!
- Proverbs 4