Category: Handling Disappointment

on • Tanya Rad

Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

Ten years ago, I was in a season of life in which I was a shell of my former self. I had just gone through a breakup that had changed the course of my life. I didn’t know who I was as a woman. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, where I wanted to live, or who my friends were. I was lost. I wasn’t sleeping well. I cried constantly. I was a mess.

My offices were down the hall from E! (Media) at the time, and I often saw Jason in the small kitchen when I was heating up coffee or grabbing a snack. Jason and I weren’t yet friends beyond our casual run-ins in the kitchen or hallways. During this time, I had started to use the hallways as a place to collect myself when I didn’t want to cry in my office. And Jason noticed that I, the hallway girl, wasn’t well. My eyes were visibly puffy from all the tears. Jason didn’t owe me anything-we were basically strangers. He could have turned a blind eye and gone about his day.

Instead, he chose to talk to me and invite me to his Bible study! He didn’t ask me a single question about why I was upset; he simply extended his hand to me.

There, I was greeted with smiles and hugs and a discussion that was so relatable and relevant to my life. I felt like I was surrounded by like-minded people who were filled with hope and happiness. That night turned my life around, and I’ll never be able to thank Jason enough for what he did. At that Bible study I also met Raquelle, one of my best friends (and, the co-author of our new book). I finally found something that felt right, and that is where my relationship with God and my journey as a Christian truly began.

I Thessalonians 5:14 reminds us that ministry is not entirely up to spiritual leaders. We are all called to cheer up the disheartened, not give up on the idle, and encourage those who feel weak.

Go out of your way today to extend a hand to someone outside your circle.

Find someone who looks like they need a friend, invite them to your weekly game night, Bible study, or grab a quick cup of coffee. You never know how big of an impact a small gesture can make on someone’s life.

I encourage you to create your own safe haven for others. It doesn’t need to be elaborate, but something weekly or bimonthly or even monthly can provide consistency, friendship, and a safe place for people in your life. Consistency is the key. Here are some ideas:

1. Taco Tuesdays. Creating an event for people to know that even if everything feels like it’s going wrong in their lives, they have a happy and safe space to be at least once a week.

2. Sunday picnics at the park. Potluck picnic with a speaker afterward.

3. Friday game nights. Play board games, card games, video games. Group together to attend sporting events—whatever your heart desires.

4. Bible Study. I had a couple of women’s Bible study groups that would meet at restaurants around town every other week. It was fun to get to know the girls and explore the restaurants in our city.

*For further reflection, listen to 1 Thessalonians 1 today.

  1. 1 Thessalonians 1

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Adapted from THE SUNSHINE MIND by TANYA RAD & RAQUELLE STEVENS. Copyright @ JANUARY 31, 2022 BY TANYA RAD & RAQUELLE STEVENS. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com.

To listen to Tanya Rad’s interview with Jenny Steinbach on “How Tanya Rad’s Relationship with God Began” click here.

on • Tori Hope Peterson

My track coach was told to wash his hands of me because I was “trouble.” But, despite what people told him, he continued to meet me at the track daily and train with me. I love the story of the woman at the well, because it reflects how my track coach came alongside me, and it also it shows us how Jesus treats those who are cast out.

When the world has set limitations on who we can befriend, Jesus shows us exactly what to do by reaching out to them anyway.

In John 4, Jesus met a Samaritan woman at the village well and shared the gospel with her. The cultural limitation said Jews could not speak to Samaritans. That meant an entire population could potentially be unreached by Jesus’ life.

So what did Jesus do? He disregarded culture’s limitations. And he met this woman where she was and told her about the never-ending, life-giving water – the truth of the gospel.

But the interesting thing is that Jesus did not go to the woman at the well with his disciples. Instead, verse eight shows his disciples had gone into the town to buy food.

Why would he not take his disciples and use this as a teaching moment? Why wouldn’t he have brought more people to the woman with hopes of helping her be seen and known and loved by more? The more, the merrier it seems.

So why did Jesus go alone?

Because even the people closest to Jesus, taking in his every word, being taught by him, and tangibly being loved by him, would have focused on the limitations of the culture. They would have pulled Jesus away from meeting the Samaritan woman, so Jesus shielded her from them.

Jesus went to the woman no one else would go to and met her where she was. He did not say, “You meet me here.” He went to her.

He met her there and changed her life.

Those people in my hometown were advising my track coach to stay away from me. But he kept showing up where I was— the track. It was one of the only places I was allowed to go, and his ongoing mentorship changed the trajectory of my life.

During this holiday season, I ask you these questions:

  • Where would you like Jesus to meet you right now?
  • Who is God asking you to make a difference in their life?
  • Who could you reach out to that you typically pass by?

*For further reflection, listen to John 4 today.

on • Luisa Collopy

My nearby neighbor’s lovely garden grew into a mess. Her once beautiful trees and plants became overgrown, no longer producing blooms and fruits like they once did.

This overlooked garden reminds me daily of what Jesus said: “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you” (John 15:1-3).

We, followers of Jesus Christ, sometimes forget the beauty of God’s grace and forgiveness. We might become overgrown with weeds of worries and choked by thorns of troubles when we keep trying to live like the world. Sometimes we even willingly lay ourselves down in rocky patches after hardship comes our way, losing our joy. Often, unhealthy parts of our lives must be ultimately thrown away and pruned like dead branches.

God’s plan to bring forth new life in us because Jesus lives within us. He wants us to bear much fruit as the Holy Spirit helps grow our character.

God already took us out of the wasteland and replanted us in good soil, so there is no reason not to believe what He says: Beauty can sprout again in us! You and I will be transformed into spectacular landscapes, showcasing God’s glory in hopeful ways!

When we allow God to water us with His Word, we will see Him cultivate beauty in our lives.

*For deeper reflection, listen to John 15 today.

on • Heather Thompson Day

Why does God sometimes answer us immediately, and other times, we pray and pray and see nothing for months or even years?

There are two things about God and prayer I find to be helpful to remember. The first is found in Daniel 9:23. It says, “The moment you began praying, a command was given. And now I am here to tell you what it was, for you are very precious to God.”

Sometimes we pray, and immediately a command goes out, and God places the answer to our prayer in our lives. Immediately God responds.

But there is a second example we find in the very next chapter, Daniel 10:12-13. The second prayer we see Daniel pray, is not answered immediately, and it’s interesting to read the reason.

Then he said, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come to answer your prayer. But for twenty-one days the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way.”

This verse is super important to understanding how prayer works, or, as it sometimes seems, is not working. Bible commentator Charles Ellicott says of this exchange:

Perhaps no single verse in the whole of the Scriptures speaks more clearly than this upon the invisible powers which rule and influence nations… From this chapter we not only learn that Israel had a spiritual champion (Daniel 10:21) to protect her in her national life, and to watch over her interests, but also that the powers opposed to Israel had their princes, or saviors, which were antagonists of those which watched over Israel. The “princes” of the heathen powers are devils, according to 1 Corinthians 10:201

In Daniel chapter nine, we see God answer immediately, and in Daniel chapter 10, we see Daniel’s answer is delayed due to the intervention of evil supernatural influences in the region at that time.

What is important to note is that both times, Daniel is loved by God.

A delay in this instance is not brought on by Daniel himself, but rather, is a reaction to the organization of demonic spirits in the supernatural realm.

Sometimes, it is not your turn, and it is also not your fault.

There is a real devil, and a real army of evil constantly organizing to delay your promise. So, we must learn as believers how to pray thoroughly.

Prayer is not a one size fits all experience, and God will answer and respond to you differently season by season.

But prayer does matter, and prayer does change things, and prayer does change us.

*For deeper reflection, listen to Daniel 10 today.

~ Excerpt from It’s Not Your Turn by Heather Thompson Day

1 By various writers. Edited by Charles John Ellicott, An Old Testament commentary for English readers, Charles Ellicott & Bible. Old Testament. English. Authorized. (London: Cassell, Petter & Galpin, 1882). https://biblehub.com/commentaries/ellicott/daniel/10.htm.

on • Vaneetha Risner

Some days, life feels relentless, and God feels distant. Yet, as soon as I pull away from Him, Psalm 43 pulls me back.

Like the psalmist, I cry out, “For you are God, my only safe haven. Why have you tossed me aside?” (Psalm 43:2a)

Darkness falls quickly, and the walls of the psalmist’s life close in. He has known the Lord intimately and experienced God’s steadfast love and presence, but now he feels rejected.

So what does the psalmist do? Rather than continuing to listen to himself and spiral downward, he starts talking to God. He says to the Lord, “Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me.” (Psalm 43:3a)

The psalmist knows that God’s light and truth can lead him out of his darkness and lies.

This kind of darkness seems impossible to penetrate, and the lies that the enemy loves to whisper sound like the truth. Nevertheless, the psalmist knows the power of God, so he looks past his circumstances, asking God for what seems impossible. He begs for God’s light and truth to guide him.

After the psalmist talks to God, he then asks himself: “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?” (Psalm 43:5a) These are essential and revealing questions, because often, we can’t articulate our fears in a place of darkness.

But as soon as we articulate and face our fears, we can take hold of God’s vast promises that the Lord will walk with us through dark valleys (Psalm 23:4), will never leave us (Hebrews 13:5), and will ensure the waves do not overwhelm us. (Is 43:2).

Lastly, the psalmist exhorts himself “to hope in God” (Psalm 43:5b). He trusts that God will bring him to a place of praise.

He chooses to tell himself the truth, based on who God is, rather than listen to himself, based on his fears.

So today, when life feels overwhelming, will you let God’s Word have the last word?

*For deeper reflection, listen to Psalm 43 today.

on • Janet Paige Smith

I had just made new friends. Now it was time to move again. As a military child, my life revolved around leaving one city and starting again in another. During my elementary school years, I felt the security of attending school on the military base. But, I had to venture out for my middle and high school and mix with students who had been together since kindergarten. With their cliques already established, newcomers had a hard time fitting in.

I desperately tried to join all the “popular” groups in my urgency to belong. The athletes. The smart kids. The rowdy crowd. Yet, it wasn’t long before they discovered I was an “imposter.” I was quickly ousted and labeled some kind of misfit.

My childhood memories of being left out resurfaced. My longing to belong was strong, and I mixed in with the world until the shame of my sins was unbearable. I sought Christ’s forgiveness and chose to only belong to him.

You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. ~ Colossians 2:13

I soon discovered that my challenges as a military child prepared me, in part, for my adult life as a Christian. Once I became obedient to God’s standard of living, I was again left out. It hurt when my coworkers did not invite me to gatherings at their homes when they knew I wouldn’t party with them. At lunchtime, I hurried to my office to eat alone at my desk. No one wanted to sit with me after I didn’t join in their gossip or cursing. I even choked back tears at church after being passed over for an opportunity because I defended a fellow believer.

I have since learned that the Bible speaks of many left out, even injured and killed, because they refused to blend in with others. Even Jesus was criticized for hanging out with undesirables and sinners.

Now, as I grow stronger in my faith, I know Jesus is always with me even when people walk out of my life or leave me out.

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. ~ Psalm 27:10

*For deeper reflection, listen to Psalm 27.

on • Kristin Nave

Remember that term, lady in waiting? It sounds so pretty, doesn’t it?

If only our seasons of waiting felt and looked pretty. But many times, they look painful, confusing, lonely, and heavy. I remember waiting with excitement when my husband and I tried to get pregnant. But after months had passed my excited waiting turned to fearful and lonely waiting, when finally the doctor told us we would never be able to get pregnant. I learned then just how painful a season of waiting could personally be.

But there is hope, and one of the places we find hope through our difficult waiting season is in the book of Habbukuk.

With strikingly raw language, Habakkuk invites us into his season of waiting. He looks around at the circumstances and world he lives in and wrestles with God over the seeming chaos. With broken relationships, corrupt leaders, rebellious injustice, declining faith, and financial hardship, God seems distant.

“How long, oh Lord?” and “Why, God?” are just two of the questions Habakkuk asks, so familiar to many of us in our times of waiting.

And God answers. Habakkuk is shocked by the answer of how God will deal with the chaos that surrounds His people. Yet, instead of turning away in despair or rushing to shallow comfort, Habakkuk returns to God while he waits on Him.

And this time, instead of more answers, Habakkuk receives more of God Himself.

Through this path, Habakkuk’s fear turns to peace, his despair into hope, and his confusion into trust. The book of Habakkuk reminds us that life is a string of seasons of waiting, and these seasons can propel us toward or away from God. Still, we are never alone in these seasons but lovingly held and guided by a God who is drawing ever near to His children and teaching them to look to Him.

*For deeper reflection, listen to Habakkuk 1.

on • Rebecca Friedlander

Life doesn’t always make sense, especially moments that hurt. It’s such a comfort to know that we have a Father in heaven who loves to restore what the enemy has stolen.

One beautiful tip for choosing healing can be found in the Book of Philemon, written by the Apostle Paul. Paul’s friend Philemon was a pastor whose runaway slave had met Paul and converted to Christianity. The former slave wanted to make things right with his former master, probably having some stolen goods, but he was afraid of being beaten if caught. So Paul penned a letter, beseeching the pastor to be kind for the sake of Christ. He also offered to help make things right.

“If he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge it to me. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it (Philemon 1:18-19a),” Paul vowed.

This short letter offers a beautiful appeal to forgiveness, and tradition says that Philemon did forgive the former slave.

One day the Lord prompted me,

What if I wrote you this letter? Suppose I came to you asking, for the sake of our friendship, that you forgive someone who wronged you?

Suddenly I realized that Paul’s letter is a picture of what Jesus asks of us. He never reasons away guilt or denies the hurt caused.

Instead, he asks us to forgive for his sake. Then he goes a step further.

If your offender owes you anything, put that on my account. I will repay.

This idea is a powerful key to the forgiveness process!

“Father,” I often pray, “I choose to forgive this person because of how You’ve shown me mercy.”

Then I take a quick inventory of what I felt “robbed” of. Was my self-worth robbed? Did I feel taken advantage of? Am I feeling the loss of a friendship? Whatever it is, I know that my Father in Heaven desires wholeness for me. With this in mind, I’ll pray,

“Lord, I put these needs on your account and ask you to meet them. You are a good Father who delights to give us good gifts!”

I can’t tell you how many times God has responded to this prayer! By shifting my expectations to focus on God whose very name is Faithful and True, I’m practicing forgiveness and creating an opportunity for Christ to restore in his way and time.

He is the faithful Father!

*For deeper reflection, listen to Philemon 1.

on • Fatima Oliver

For many, the vision of a little child running carefree brings feelings of joy and delight.

However, for me, I became branded by severely painful life experiences from toddler age, and I graduated with honors in living out the results.

Subsequently, the word ‘victim’ felt stamped across my forehead, like a clearance item holding little value. After each traumatic experience, I took on labels – the burn victim, the sexual abuse casualty, the parental betrayal recipient, the grief-stricken mother, the domestic abuse target, the depressed and the neglected.

Never did I identify myself through the eyes of who God says I am. Being raised around destructive forces created blinders, making it more of a challenge to accept how God viewed me, as I only could see how life treated me. It took almost my entire life to accept “I am not my circumstances.”

It is easy to fall into the trap of defining our worth based on what has or has not occurred in our life.

From there, failure can easily find its way to the depths of our hearts. After so much trauma, our identity and worth naturally come from others’ estimations of us. And, yet others’ opinions are often problematically revealed through their own brokenness.

One thing I know to be true is the Creator’s view of us never alters. On the contrary, it is always consistent and full of delight for His children.

Taking ownership of this truth changed me from a “damaged goods” outlook to the beautiful proclamation that I am a loveable child of God. “But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12).

No matter what horror or loss has occurred in our lives, God has already decided to love us anyway (Romans 5:8). Being a part of His family brings so much richness.

We are all now loved, forgiven, treasured, deserving, protected, beautiful and worthy.

His identity for us is the only one identity worth embracing.

*For deeper reflection, listen to John 1.

on • Dorina Gilmore-Young

My friends and I rolled out of bunk beds early and headed for the start of the Shadow of the Giants trail race. The air was brisk. “Three, two, one, go!” the race director bellowed, his voice echoing through the forest. And we were off.

My lungs burned as we headed uphill through the grove of Sequoia trees at 5,000-feet elevation.

Inhale. Lift. Exhale. Lift. Inhale. Lift.

I tried to find the rhythm of my breath and feet to make it up that first five miles of hills. I couldn’t help noticing the landscape.

The trail through the Nelder Grove—near Yosemite National Park—looked strikingly different from the year before when I ran the same race. Fallen trees and blackened trunks provided a striking stark contrast against the backdrop of the blue sky.

A wildfire earlier in the year blazed its way through this forest. The cause of the fire was unknown, but it threatened communities and historic buildings.

When a fire rages through dry underbrush, it clears thick growth so that nourishing sunlight can reach the forest floor. This encourages the growth of native species. Where forest fires destroy, new life springs up.

A resilient tree that survives the fire can even experience a growth spurt.

As I ran, I noticed evidence of new growth. Green grass and leaves sprouted. Wildflowers dotted the trail. As I rounded one corner, angled light beamed through the blackened tree trunks.

Beauty rose from the ashes.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted…To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” Isaiah 61:1-3

After my husband’s death, a fierce sense of hope has risen in my life. I still bear the scars of loss, but God uses these to open doors to encourage others.

Sometimes life is about breathing and lifting, moving forward one step at a time.

Our hearts are scarred, but we have found unexpected joy in the ashes.

*For deeper reflection, listen to Isaiah 61.