Her Freedom Journey From Porn

I hate being uncomfortable. I’m the girl who immediately changes out of her cute clothes as soon as I get home and into my comfy T-shirt.

Yet, as believers, we aren’t promised a comfortable life.

In fact, Jesus warns us in John 16:33, “Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows.” The good news is found at the end of that same verse, when He says, “But, take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Friends, we already know the ending. We know that Jesus wins and we will spend eternity with Him.

However, it is the here and now that leaves us struggling as we face our troubles.

It is so much easier to turn to something physical for comfort than to God. But that comfort will not last.

When I was in college, I frequently turned to porn to numb any of my negative feelings. I left awkward social gatherings without any friends to go back to my dorm. I looked at porn and masturbated to escape the deep loneliness I felt.

Porn never cured my loneliness.

In fact, I felt more lonely afterwards because I was craving deep intimacy with God and others. If you feel discomfort, you may also turn to porn. Or you might instead become numb by binge-watching TV shows, mindlessly scrolling on social media or comfort eating.

Here are two practical ways you can turn to God in your discomfort:

1) Learn to sit in your discomfort. Sitting in this way is an important muscle to develop. One way is to journal ALL of your thoughts and feelings.

Give yourself permission to cry and to admit feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or anxious. Instead of denying your feelings, turn them over God. Write them down as a prayer to God, or pray them out loud.

2) Worship God with music and prayer.

Listening to worship music often gives you a fresh perspective. It focuses you more on the beauty of God and less on your pain and suffering.

Worship also allows you to express affection for your Savior. It is how you show Him admiration, love, thankfulness, and praise. When you make worshiping God a daily priority, your relationship with God will grow in intimacy. When you feel close to God, you tend to focus less on your troubles. When your God is big, your worries feel small.

A close friend once encouraged me, “I can choose to wallow in my suffering and feel sad, isolated, and hurt. But when I choose to rise above, it is amazing the strength I receive from my Lord. I put on worship music. I sing, pray, and memorize Scripture. The choice is yours. God will give you the strength you need.”

As we practice this act of daily surrender and learn to sit in our discomfort, we will exercise this much-needed muscle. This action may feel difficult now, but over time, it will get easier as we grow in intimacy and trust with the Lord.

*For further reflection, listen to John 16 today.

  1. John 16

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Her new book Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out Of Porn to Authentic Intimacy comes out this July.

We pray that you will take her advice and listen to our encouraging conversation.