When Joy Begins

Recently, while my fingers danced on my keyboard, I was about to finish an important document, and suddenly, my computer froze. Nothing worked. My muscles tightened. I feared all my work was lost.

“Cindi, I don’t know what’s wrong,” I wrote to my wise friend.

“Sometimes,” she answered, “this can happen when you have too many windows open.”

Ugh! In life, we do that. We open too many windows.

If our kids go in the wrong direction, we open the window of worry. As our bank account dwindles, we open the window of anxiety. After the doctor’s office leaves a message, “Both of your parents tested positive for Covid,” we open the window of anguish.

And rushing through those windows of negative emotions, the tornado of fear invades our lives. Fear that we’re losing control. Fear that God is distant and aloof. Fear that we’re on our own to face the mess.

Decades ago, I visited that messy place. At age 31, a retinal disease robbed my sight aggressively, completely, and with no expectation of regaining it again.

That’s when I opened, not just a window, but a colossal patio door of self-pity. “Why Me?” I asked over and over again. “What will I do blind? How could I care for my 3, 5, and 7-year-old sons?”

Jesus was gentle to come to my rescue amid those fearful questions. He knew my pain and saw the tears on my pillow. In the silence of the night, He heard my sobs.

That’s when he reached down with his hand of compassion and whispered, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105).

His Word was my Light. And he continues to be. With the eyes of my heart, I see a new life. I see fresh, colorful horizons as joy dances in my soul.

Join me in that dance because, in your darkness, He promises you the same. You may not be facing physical blindness. However, whatever window of adversity is opened in your life, God longs to guide you through, help you see, and end your sobs when you’re ready.

When you choose to let him close the window of negative emotions and embrace his relief, fear has no place. His peace comes back and joy begins.

*For deeper reflection, listen to Psalm 119.