Prayer gets complicated when we are waiting. If we could have gotten what we wanted, we would already have it. We’ve done what we can, but now it’s up to God to give the final thumbs-up. As days stretch into months and months into years, feeling close to God—feeling heard and loved by Him—becomes harder.

Long-term waiting introduces unique struggles:

• Feeling ignored or unimportant to God
• Disillusionment with His promises
• Resentment or guilt
• Bitterness

Each emotion affects our prayer life. During waiting seasons, I’ve felt them all—sometimes at once. On those days, I carry a personal rain cloud, keeping me in sadness and shadow. When we feel distant from God, the world becomes a dim place.

The longer we wait, the more prayer can feel like a battleground: our will resisting God’s plan. Eleven years into seeking a writing breakthrough, I could hardly pray. After a promising deal fell through, I sat on my bedroom floor and cried. My husband quietly took the kids out; friends sent chocolate. But when I got up, God and I had hit an impasse. I couldn’t find new ways to say “please,” so I sat in silence: “We both know what I have to say. Now it’s Your turn.”

I was frustrated, bewildered, hurt.

The longer we wait, the more God’s silence fuels suspicion: Does He care? Bitterness tightens its grip, strangling hope and trust. During our baby-wait, my mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Fear crushed us as we waited for answers.

One afternoon, in our guest room—the room that should have been a nursery—my husband suggested we pray. Angry, I let loose in prayer. My husband blinked in shock and scooted back, just in case God sent a tornado. Defensive, I snapped, “What? I’m telling God what I feel!” Afterward, I felt worse.

Now I realize I was on the right track.

Thank goodness we aren’t the first to struggle with waiting. David, shepherd and king, gave voice to such struggles. His psalms provide words when we can’t find our own:

“Why, Lord, do You stand so far away? Why do You hide when I am in trouble?” (Psalm 10:1)

“I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart… My heart pounds, my strength fails me, and the light has gone from my eyes” (Psalm 38:8, 10).