“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” Romans 8:31

Here’s one of the biggest lies I believe about myself that limits my ability to connect with others: I don’t think people like me.

The core of that belief— that tension—speaks to what I think about myself. Do I believe I am worth liking? And I can take it a step further and ask, “Do I even like myself?”

Many of us, if we’re honest, don’t really like ourselves. We don’t see what others like about us. That’s because we are our own worst critic. We struggle to list good qualities about ourselves, but run out of paper when listing the negative ones.

How do I get rid of that fearful belief?

I think it starts with noticing the good in myself. I recently sat in my counselor’s office unpacking something along a similar topic. She asked me if there was anything I liked about my body. I have to admit it took me a while to answer. I finally answered that I usually like my hair and sometimes my face. That’s a start.

First, I needed to focus on what I like about myself. So I ask you the same: What do you like about you?

Maybe you like your personality or the way you laugh. Maybe you like that you are punctual or always dependable. Maybe you like that you are someone who remembers details about people’s lives. We need to start noticing the good things about ourselves, because those are the things that others like too.

By letting those attributes and qualities speak for themselves, we can believe—deep down at the core of who we are—we are likable.

What difference would it make in your life if you believed that people like you and that you are likable? Finding connection might be easier if we sincerely hold that belief.

I’d be wrong to leave you without this disclaimer: not everybody will like you. Even though most of us want everyone to like us, we are all wired differently and connect with different people in different ways. So it’s okay if not everyone likes you. However, if you have one or two friends you can call or text when you really need someone, then you’re good.

The loneliness we feel is real. It’s easy to live closed off and not allow ourselves to be seen. It’s simpler not to reach out if there’s a chance of rejection. But I’ve seen firsthand that connection to others really does make the world go round. We need each other. We need to have some people in our real lives whom we can call in our distress.

If you feel lonely and are wondering if you’re likable, please know that you most certainly are likable.

Try to reach out to someone. Reach out again. And probably again. You don’t have to have 17,375 friends. Look around. Look in unexpected places. Find some common ground to build connection.

You only need one friend.

Adapted from Is Everyone Happier Than Me?: An Honest Guide to the Questions That Keep You up at Night by Sarah Bragg. © July, 2024 by Zondervan. Used by permission of Zondervan, www.Zondervan.com.

For deeper reflection, listen to Romans 8 today!